If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize