He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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