The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
being pregnant is like rehab
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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