GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
