Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I didn't notice because vodka
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
