Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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