McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize