Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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