Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
