Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
