Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize