why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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