i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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