Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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