she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
