dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
