can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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