i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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