i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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