I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nutella sex= disaster
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
