so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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