Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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