She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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