She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
