don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
