He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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