I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
