how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
