Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
