i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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