I just cut my nipple shaving
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
FUCK WHALES
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
