Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
im on a boat
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