I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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