Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize