My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
no. you can't hotbox the world.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
