He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
