this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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