Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
