OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
