No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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