omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
