My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
