Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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