you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize