i always forget guys have bellybuttons
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
