you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
