Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
