I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
