I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
