I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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