Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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