have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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