ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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