best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
