i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize