only if we run a train.
done.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize