when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
