Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
