Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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