You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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