i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize